"Cuckoo" - a movie review- Dustin Dopps Contributor
Photo Use Courtesy of NEON Pictures
I had decent hopes for Cuckoo. It has been a good year for weird tense/horror movies (not looking at you, Longlegs - you were terrible!) and I thought this one looked interesting. And it had a good Rotten Tomatoes score!
Before I go into the setup, I want to say this: there's a man who frequents my movie theater who I can only assume is homeless. I have no idea what his situation is. But this was the FOURTH movie I have been to where he was in the audience and I had to change seats because his smell made me gag. It is horrific. He smells - no shame intended - like the alley by the sushi restaurant I walk past when I leave this theater.
It is bad. It made me gag multiple times. I even smelled him when I got to my car. He needs help.
I wish he went to a seat in the front of the theater, but he is always in the same seat: the first seat in the first row of stadium seating. And tonight there was a wide swath around him where nobody sat, no matter which seats they had paid for.
I don't know what to do. I spoke to a manager, because something needs to be done to help him. But I feel bad no matter what...
On to the movie... A 17-year-old girl from America is forced to move to a mountain resort in Germany when her mom dies. She lives with her dad, her dad's new lover, and her mute half-sister. And things are weird.
She keeps experiencing the same moments repeatedly. There's a weird old lady with goggles who chases her around. And then her half-sister starts having seizures.
It is weird. But not as weird (or as stupid) as the "reveal" so I'm going to spoil that to keep you from wanting to watch this dumb movie.
SPOILERS BELOW! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
It turns out her dad and his new lover spent their "honeymoon" at this resort 8 years ago. And the woman ended up pregnant. Except she's not pregnant with a human, but rather with ... a human goggles lady egg that is continuing a species of human-like animals/aliens/something that is procreating.
I guess the goggles lady lays her eggs in human women, then they grow into new babies of the species and things continue. Except the man who runs the resort *wants* to help this species, so he's trying to kill anyone who finds out about it.
Let me be clear: this species looks human, walks human, etc., but it puts a weird sound out of its throat that hypnotizes humans so it can lay eggs in them.
This is never shown, just discussed. There's not really any violence, although there is quite a bit of swearing (as in any film from Europe) and it doesn't make any sense overall.
Mute girl is half weird creature? Okay. Teen girl is stopping them and fighting weird creature mommy? Okay. But it doesn't gel; it doesn't make sense overall; it ends up being a big nothing burger.
The conceit of the film is that cuckoo birds lay their eggs in other nests and let other birds raise their kids. And this weird creature does the same, I guess, but comes back for the kid when they are older.
It is dumb. I did not like it. And I still feel like gagging from that guy, God bless him.
(I really wish no ill will upon him. He just doesn't belong in a movie theater in the state he is in. And this was the FOURTH time he's been in a movie I attended!)
"Cuckoo" isn't worth your time. Don't bother.
